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Current Music:Symphony X
Subject:Dad is no longer with us: Part Two
Time:03:07 pm
Current Mood:refreshedrefreshed
Ok so I don't really mean to only post twice a year but lets be honest, three of my friends are really going to read this :)

I'll try to be more prolific!

A sister is pregnant

So yeah, my youngest sister tells me she's preggers as I walked into my daed dad's house (he was still upstairs. There was a guy in the room I didn't recognize, I assumed he was the soon to be father but there was something really bugging me...

I wanted to walk over and congratulate him but I couldn't.

It's not that I was filled with a sense of Big Brother protectiveness, "How the fuck do you get off doin the bumpitty bump with my little sister, you low life sad sack sonuvabitch?"

Nothin like that.

I think I was really trying to figure out what HE was thinking by legally attaching himself to my family.

Now we have to fast foward becuuse I am sorta mentally still in Dad's house at this point and I really want to go to a BBQ about a week in the future.

Things Terry has been told in that week:

1) Terry, we will find a way to bury your father - Terry's Mom
2) The father of my sister's baby will be gainfully employed when his agent gets him signed to a basketball team in...Turkey - Terry's Sister

It's a general rule that people in my family have little breaks with reality from time to time. Not large breaks mind you. Just little ones. Like when you're on a road trip on a highway and there is just that flat stip of land with the wild grass and State Troopers making U-Turns, then all of a sudden, there are these really cool pine trees and a Hawk.

See, a break, just like that. That's the way we work.

There was only one reason my mom had to say anything about HOW to FIND A WAY to bury my dad. He was a retired firefighter. It's not like he was a derelict living under a bridge. Of course he'd be buried. The question was this, "Was the woman who happened to be the mother of my MIDDLE SISTER (aha! gotcha didn't I) gonna pony up any cash to make it happen?

My Mom had a break with reality that said that she was playing a game of funeral home poker with my Dad's ex Girlfriend from back in the 70's (mom and dad were separated and he got a GF and knocked her up). This made her believe that The Other Woman had an insurance policy on my dad and thay she needed to kick in money for the funeral.

Anyway, whatever that other woman had was none of my mom's business actually and all the drama surrounding it was stupid. Back to the more important issue of Turkey Ball.

So there I am with Spermy McDonorstein, grillin up some burgers in the driveway and I have to ask the guy,
"So Spermy, What is it you do again?"
"Me?", as if I could have been asking the other mutherphucker who knocked up a sister of mine...,"I'm a Baller."
The irony here is astounding but I just let it go.
"Right now I'm waitin to hear back from this one agent I got who is tellin me that he can get me in a semi pro league over seas in Turkey..."
(Semi Pro...overseas....)
"Really, you're good enough to play ball in Turkey huh? What is your position? You look about 6' even. Are you a guard?"
"I'll play whatever, man. I've played in Summer leagues here against guys in the NBA and all that. They good but they ain't so good that I can't run with them."

For those who don't know, sometimes NBA players join Summer leagues for he extra workout and to be able to go back home and show Spermy just how much game he's lacking.

So I ask, "So all it's coming down to is a call?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"And what if this doesn;t work out?"
"Shit man, I might have to think about gettin a 9-5"
"How old are you, Spermy?"
"Oh, yeah, kid, I think you and 9 and/or 5 might have to at least shake hands and have lunch a few times in the next nine months"
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Current Music:The Pole Position Theme Song
Subject:So many blogs so little focus
Time:02:34 pm
Current Mood:calmcalm
So I was intending to continue the story of the last year in my life but I think I'd better talk about something else for a bit because since that last post I had my youngest uncle pass away on us and had some other craziness going on.

Lets talk about something like how the hell can I lose 30 pounds without cutting my legs off. I rather like my legs but I am too efficient at being a fat guy. Holy crap was this a rough weekend for me.

Thursday night - Pork Fajitas and margaritas
Friday night - Korean BBQ, Hite Beer and Shoju
Saturday night - Korean BBQ, OB Beer, Rusty Nails, Vodka and Tonic
Sunday day and night - Grilled Mexican skirt steak, sushi, corona beer, Sake, Micky's big mouth.

I need to find alfala sprouts and eat those for like a week straight.

My sit up routine is in full effect but damn if it wasn't useless over the weekend. Now I've started my cardio. I could end up being the worlds fittest fat bastard.
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Current Music:Some Iron Maiden
Current Location:Sick Couch
Subject:I'm back and dad is no longer with us...
Time:12:36 pm
Current Mood:sicksick
Ok I had no Idea that I hadn't posted since May 23rd. I knew it had been awile and I sort of know why it'd been ahile and I supose that's why I'm back.

The last time I wanted to post was about a month after my dad died which would be a month after I posted last (late June) but I had so much unresolved shit going through the summer and into the winter that I couldn't really see myself typing about. Now something has sort of happened that screams full circle annnnnd so we're back.

Lets call it from "James to Kylie". Here are the parts:

Dad is Dead
A sister is pregnant
Her Boyfriend is a slacker
What to do with Dad's House
Still What to Do with Dad's house
Every Mom was a Child at some point
Hey maybe I can graduate
The World's oddest baby Shower for a girl
Maybe Graduation is overrated
It's a....Boy? WTF????

So Part 1. Dad is Dead.

I got a call one day from my mom. I was at work and I know it was a Tuesday. "Your father is gone". I knew what that meant and I knew I had to go to dad's house. What I didn't know was how my mom found out which was my youngest Sister(YS) going to his house to borrow a large sum of money and finding him dead on his bedroom floor.

I walk in the house and there is YS and Middle Sister(MS) along with MS's 2 small kids, an aunt I like and a guy I had never seen before. I walk up to YS and hug her and she says the following to me, "I'm pregnant".

Now I know what you're thinking but...ok fine, I was thinking that too. WTF???

THEN, one of my uncles comes up and says the following to me, "Do you want to see your dad"?

Yep, he was still in the house, and on the floor annnnnd if you're not all that familar with the realities of death, then I'll spare ou the rest.

It took a while for whover had to come get him to do so but in the meantime we had to busy ourselves the way I guess you're supposed to.

1. Pregnant by who? Oh that guy I didn't recognize when I walked in? ok. Then why is he leaving?

2. Electronics? Those must be packed up so folks don't break in a steal it. A cousin of mine was actually posted as a lookout in front of the house to watch who was watching us. It was great.

3. Paper Chase? Yep. Gotta start looking for important papers like insuarance policies and stuff. I was looking to make sure he had some. I thing other relatives were looking for other reasons, such as concrete proof that my dad had money somewhere which could be used to prop up a failing before it started restaurant venture by part of the family.

Fast forawrd to the services and we get possibly my favorite quote of the period:

Joey to my Uncle M -
"Hello Sir, I'm sorry for your loss".

Uncle M -
"My loss? I ain't lost shit, it ain't me in that box."

I bet you can't wait for more huh?

OK all that was done and NOW the bullshit could really start.
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Current Music:KISS: I was made for loving you!
Subject:Heavy: The Story of Metal
Time:09:42 am
Current Mood:thoughtfulthoughtful
Not much happened last night after I got home other than Third Coast Order entry and R26 hitting me with the price of Slayer tix. I will say this though. I watched the first installment of HEAVY: The Story of Metal.

1) Black Sabbath were what was needed in the beginning.

2) So was Zepplin

3) Man there is greater room for hating KISS than liking them. I mean they did everything they could over their careers to make you hate them.

I think U2 is the new KISS. All they need is a hip hop album. I bet they have action figures. They have a movie and it was sappy. I liked Phantom of the Park more than Rattle and Hum I think.

4) Damn Alice Cooper was jacked up. I had to turn away from some of the stuff this guy did and I like Iggy Pop so you know he did something I can't deal with. Lets just say I have spit issues.
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Subject:Stuff I learned this weekend...
Time:01:50 pm
1)If you're at a wedding and feel the need to get plastered, do not use a Tasmanian as conscience.

2)Do not sign on to be his either.

Forsaking either of these rules can land you at the bar at Bennigans chugging martinis at a breakneck pace, which can lead to slow dancing with sextigenarian aunts covered in glitter, bribes to bartenders, mistaking the brides sister for a co-worker you have never actually worked with, and public urination...

ok, I admit. I would probably have jumped straight to public urination and skipped the glitter phase if it was just a picnic but it was a wedding.

On that bribe: I don't know where you may be from but open bar means open fucking bar. This is how I have always understood the term. I don't understand this stuff about closed bar during dinner. That thing with the clinking glasses and the kissing. That shit is silly and I will never find it funny if I am forced to sober up.

3)Mr. DJ, do not, and I mean DO NOT EVER, cut off Sweet Child of Mine in the middle of the song to play some bullshit by...nevermind, just let the bloddy song play. It's Rock and Roll, this is a wedding and you are doing irepairable damage you ham fisted goon!

now then...

4)God bless folks who can throw a tiny wedding for less that 40 people. That rocks and if you can give the sort of toast that would leave a Pakistani groom in tears then you, my friend, are good at giving toasts. I have made Pakistani men swear they meant my wife no harm and I have made Russian exchange students curl into a fetal position but never a groom.

(My wife still give me shit about that to this day)

5) If you need a movie to be as good as the book, make it yourself.

6) Michael Barrett may be a punk for sucker punching AJ Pierszynski but I was so glad it happened I almost hugged the racist prick of an irate Sox fan next to me. Maybe Barrett has been a bitch of late but dammit AJ has had that coming for a long time.

To review: Sucker punches are not right. Unless the guy has it comin.

That's all for now but I'm sure I have more life lessons to impart. You guys be good now.

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Current Music:Queensryche - Operation: Mindcrime
Subject:The Line
Time:01:41 pm
Current Mood:sympatheticsympathetic
Ok, the funniest thing I have seen in forever have to be the new Miller, Man Law Commercials.

They have all of these men in a room voting on rules for...Man...ness or whatever. Now as a man, and believe you me, I am a man, I have to say that they nail every single solitary insipid thing about our masculinity that we yuk it up about anytime you put us near booze, fire, or pork.

Combine all 3 and men devolve in to screaming, stamping, snorting, yelling, laughing, rude, pissing, 20 minute endurance record sex machines.

And we love it that way.

Miller is bringing this about using:

Burt Reynolds
Eddie Griffin
That mountain climber that cut his own arm off
That guy that flew into space last year in a glider
Some rodeo guy into unicycles
A guy who got hit by a train in a golf cart
and a few other guys

and they never cross "THE LINE".

You know that line. The line where a person goes from being funny to being a dick or from showing sentiment to being creepy.

This line is thought of as imaginary but it really isn't. It's there and you can see it. Just look at the eyes of the person you're talking to.

When you say something that you think of as honesty like:

"Hey Sarah, that is a really nice shirt (or blouse), that's a good fabric for you",
you could be gay. Gay or not, watch her eyes. If they stay with you, no line has been crossed.

If you the thought process is all about the shirt and only the shirt, then you're golden just the same.

If INSTEAD you say:

"Hey Sarah, great f'n tits!" followed by "I mean that in the most scientific way possible", then watch those eyes again (if you can). They likely moved in some way. You know where they moved to? They just watch that line come and go.

You ran right over it.

Now I will be the first to say, it is ok for a person to have a crush on a friend of theirs but for the love of all that is holy, approach this "THE MAN WAY" and just...you know, a) "find private time to yourself" and b) get over it.

I advocate this approach because well I am a man and I know us. You're going to do a) no matter what but it's b) you need some help with.

I have to believe it's what Burt and HHH would do.

Now Men, I will gather up other forms of line crossing from my vast Army of Estrogen out there and I'll let you know how else you can Be a Complete Man without just being a Complete Dick.

What say you ladies?
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Current Location:Under your desk...
Subject:Why Multiculturalist don't like me...
Time:02:52 pm
Current Mood:indescribableindescribable
I have learned over the years that multiculturalists tend to not really like me.
Oh when they meet me initially they think they will but when they get to know the real me...It's over.

Black people tend to hate my ass. Gays like me though. White women fear me...as well they should.

This is to say that Black people want to talk to me about whatever it is we have been convinced we should care about. I don't care about those things...or those people or those issues really, so that's that. Also It's not that I don't care. It's that I really feel like I've seen my way strait through them.

Here's an example:

"Bush wants to kill all the black people my brotha and what are you willing to do about it?"

Hmmm, lemme think...I know what I'll do. I'll get up on the morning, go to work, bide my time there til I can leave and have a beer or 3, read some comics, make peace with my wife for something I said when drinking beer and reading comics, get the cable turned on again, delete this random text message on my phone, check out the prices for Slayer tickets, figure out where the money is coming from on my next comics invoice, debate the existance of God with myself as I download random polish soccer mom porn, pay too much for pizza, make upm a load of emergency laundry, get miffed that the neighbors are using the machine, start another argument with my wife, lose my keys, Should I get rid of my land line?, watch some Sports Center and check my fantasy team, go to bed, FUCK Bush and fuck you for trying to make me feel guilty, rinse/repeat.

Gay Men love me I think. Because I'm a hot piece of Nubian meat.

White Women fear me. And they should because they were taught too. If they forget that fear...bad things will happen because that's what they were taught.

The truth is, and my white women friends don't know this so don't tell them...

When their guard is down, I will creep into their windows and assume control of their households, drinking all the beer that their jerk ass booty call dates have left over, paying all those bills, mowing those manicured lawns, shoveling the snow around the condo, reading DaVici Code to them, cleaning the Jetta, EBaying last years Prada purses and having meaningful philosophical conversations.

Nigga please. I wish I would. white women, I am married. Your shit is so fucking safe it aint funny. I am no longer dumb enough to believe that as a young black man, I can have allllllllll the poonanny in the Wooooooooorld and come back for seconds.

Comics. Beer. If you want to discuss this, I'm all good but if you think I'm going to risk twice the sentence of the average loser white guy by fulfilling that destiny of fear by leaping upon you like "They" told you I would, then you are sadly mistaken. That takes desparation. I'm took good looking for desparation.

For the record, this does not mean Black Woman can have me either. If you pay close attention, I read a lot of comic books. This is black woman repellent in general. I also despise hoop ear rings. I don;t really feel Mary J. Blige and I'm not going to your moms church either. Even if you sing in the choir. Go ahead and date that nice guy in church. He's gay but he's keepin it real.

I'm off in that political wilderness that says "Equal Immigration rules for all but learn the damn language and get off my block with that polka music"

I also willingly go to work on King's Birthday.

I can't go to 3rd world...ahem...developing nations for vacation because I think it's just as insulting to stay in the insulated resort as it is to brave rape, dissentary, and poverty stricken thuggery just for a Donkey show.

I would download the Donky Show though.

I hold that if it weren't for porn we'd still be using our computers to play that Tank game on the TRS-80.

I don't want to pay Teachers what we pay shortstops unless they can stop a grounder in the hole. Yes, that is a euphemism.

Arianna Huffington...

I had to throw that in there.

I believe that it's been a long time since any pro athlete really raped a woman but it hasn't been so long since a woman accused a pro athlete falsely...unless your nale is Mark Chhmura

I don't care at all about steroids in baseball. I mean not at all. Barry should charge admission to watch him shove that needle place.

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die. This is a shame really but it's true.

I don't want blood for oil but I want cheap gas and I cheap gas costs bullets.

I don't want reparations. As soon as you give me a mule you'll tax every fucking oat.

I believe that Men who go on those take back the night rallys are really hypocrites who were not 30 minutes before were making it harder to DL that donkey show.

I have more beliefs but they all just serve to make the multicults want nothing to do with me.

I don't like to drive and it doesn't make me les of a man. It makes me a determined trip planner.

I like to fly but no food on flights is some bullshit.

The State of Florida is some Bullshit too. I find it hard to believe that all those Jewish people really want to live near all those Cubans. They should be honest and admit that they thought there was gonna be a swap after Castro's death. They all move for the weather and the permanent return to the 1950's and the Cubans would come here for white women and better chances at a reality show. Dammit Die Castro Die!

I believe that people from the south should not be allowed to make Hip Hop. Outkast and Ludacris should move. They should relocate to anywhere North of Indy or Out West to Colorado. Oh and Andre benjamin has GOT to be Gay.

I believe that if we can be anything we want to be in this life then I'll be an Astronaut yet. I'm totally working on it...yep...So I explained the IRA CarBomb (beverage) to Eris404 today...

I believe that Regan dying in 1981 would not have solved all of our problems. It could have been an awesome start though.

John Kerry took a dive and took all of your hopes and dreams with him.

Yes, sucking ---- one time does indeed make you gay. It is not the same as smoking a joint once making you a drug addict. You can sit around and and have a guy up and hand you a joint and you'll feel nothing afterwards but you cannot sit around and have a guy just up and hand you his ---- just because. If he hands it to you, own it.

Thats all for now, I'll make up more shit later.
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Current Music:Megadeth - Peace Sells
Current Location:Right Behind You!
Subject:Mr. Ultimate Warrior
Time:02:25 pm
Current Mood:excitedexcited
Ok, I'm largely pasting this in here because it was sent to me by The Karmic Avenger who is really one of my best friends on the planet. There should be a Wikipedia entry for well meaning, liberal, bleeding heart, cat lover, and should include a picture of her ass. This is because her Ass is one well meaning, liberal, bleeding heart, cat lover.

Anyway, this is from her.

Oppose Homophobic & Racist
"Ultimate Warrior" at DePaul April 4th

Reaching a new low in public "discourse," the DePaul University Republicans are bringing in a former "pro wrestler" who has reinvented himself on the college lecture circuit as a professional homophobe. A protest against "The Warrior" (his legal name) is being organized by DePaul Students Against the War and the Activist Student Union. The Gay Liberation Network encourages all who oppose hate speech to express their free speech in opposition. Here is a portion of the DePaul students' message about their protest:

DePaul Students Against the War and the Activist Student Union are calling on all those who stand for Queer Liberation, a Just Peace and for and end to Racism to demonstrate against the Homophobic and Racist Ultimate Warrior.

April 4th, Tuesday
4:30 PM - Rally against Hate- DePaul's Lincoln Park student Center- Belden and Sheffield, near the Statue of Fr. Egan.

5:00 PM - "Warrior" will speak in Room 314b of the student center. The lecture is free and open to all. We encourage all to watch the Warrior closely for when he violates the student handbooks rules against harassment.

The Ultimate Warrior, a WWF superstar, might be remembered by many as the masked wrestler who battled Hulk Hogan in Wrestlemania, but few know about his ultra-right wing and homophobic views. Since retiring from Wrestling, the admitted steroid abuser has hit the college circuit, preaching hate.

The Warrior (his legal name) was asked to appear on "Byte This!" a TV show about wrestling. In his rejection of the show he said, "Order the queer and the cripple who host the show to read what I have written here..."

At an appearance at the University of Connecticut, Warrior lamented that multiculturalism and tolerance has resulted in a society where "the bum is as legitimate as the businessman..., that queers are as legitimate as heterosexuals..., that Kwanza is just as legitimate as Santa Claus and Christmas." When asked to explain his view that that homosexuality is illegitimate Warrior said, "because queering doesn't make the world work."

He told a gay student to "take that object out of your mouth when speaking to me"

Warrior mocked a woman upset at his homophobic remarks and told her "Don't have an orgasm honey."

When an Iranian student asked the Warrior a question, Warrior told the student to "get a towel."

Warrior then played a video of himself ripping an Iraqi flag to pieces.

The Warrior speech was so out of line that the UConn Republicans issued a public apology stating, "We brought the Ultimate Warrior to campus because we wanted to host a thought-provoking discussion from an individual who would appeal to a broader range of students than normal, given his background. Sadly, the Warrior's presentation accomplished none of these goals and we were horrified like most of the UConn community by the display."

The Ultimate Warrior would have you think that this is all just being politically incorrect, that we are "girly-men" who aren't allowing him to speak his mind. The fact is that his statements are part of a right-wing agenda which discriminates against innocent people though the free trade agreements Warrior promotes on his website to the depriving of homosexuals of their rights. It's outrageous that Warrior claims that it's politically incorrect to gay-bash in a country where gay marriage is outlawed, and homophobes control all three federal branches of government, and homophobic preachers are allowed to protest at funerals.

Further his statements are clearly forms of harassment, as outlined in the DePaul University Student Handbook. The DePaul Republicans, as outlined in the Student Handbook, are required to not bring any speaker which will harass students or disrupt the learning environment.

Which is why DePaul Students Against the War and the Activist Student Union are calling on all those who stand for Queer Liberation, a Just Peace and for and end to Racism to demonstrate against this Ultimate Homophobe and Racist.

Come dressed as a left wing wrestler- "The Commie Commando" "Feminist Fury" "Anarchist Attack" "Socialist Slam" "Captain Queero", "Iraqi Insurgent", "Subcomadante Marcos" or any other ideas you have. We also need a referee to watch the Warrior's violation of DePaul's Harassment policies.

And here are my responses:

First the title. Homophobic Racist. No need to go there. Prowrestling is a past-time with a long history or racial issues. So is Hollywood.

And when Mr. Warrior speaks, no one is really listening. He's not David Duke. He's the guy yelling at you in the Dominicks Parking lot.

Mr. Warrior is not a student. He doesn't have to follow a student handbook. DePaul also just gave a presidential farewell to a legendary basketball coach who was abusive and often was said to have used certain words to his players that would cause a race riot today. Let's not let that double standard get in the way. We want to demonize a guy for doping but we praise the hard working gambler.

Mr. Warrior is not a WWF superstar. This sentence is legally troubleing because it's misleading. The "Ultimate Warrior" is a character owned by the WWE. Jim Hellwig went to work there in the late 80's and they gave him that character. When his stupidity cost him his job, there was all sorts or wrangling for him to use that name in other companies. He stayed out of wrestling for a long time because no one wanted to deal with him.

Mind you, this is a guy who had become REALLY famous and no one wanted to hire him. When WCW hired him, he couldn't be the "Ultimate Warrior" because WWE owns that name. He was just the "Warrior" and maybe this is when he'd gone over the deep end.

The WWE can release DVDs about the guy because they own the name and this is essentially why he legally changed his name. All the DVD releases by legit companies totally slam the guy because he was too much of an ass even for Pro Wrestling. He really believes all of his own press.

"Byte This" is not a TV show. It's an internet show BUT, the folks he's referring to were trying to have him on to promote the WWE DVD that slams him. That means that they expected nice comments from the jackass they were trying to bury.

Now what do think will happen when he's surrounded by the people who actually drive him? No self respecting republican will really listen to the guy but it's all the crying liberals who follow him around and give him attention.

"Warrior mocked a woman upset at his homophobic remarks and told her "Don't have an orgasm honey.""

And what should he have done? Apologized and gone to Temple?

"When an Iranian student asked the Warrior a question, Warrior told the student to "get a towel.""

See previous comment

The bottom line here is that most folks didn't know the guy existed. They sort of thought he'd stopped looking like an idiot in front of millions of people and just went "poof" into the aether. Well he did. He went to the same place everyone like him goes when they have no self resepect but can't do a reality show. They start a website and do motivational speaking.

For what major universities pay, he can lay back and just be flat out bug fuck insane...and conservative to boot.

There are plenty of smart conservative contemporary wrestlers out there. John Bradshaw Layfield, The Rock, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, Val Venis (he's a wrestling porn star but one of the smartest political minds out there). No one wants to talk to them. But when you need an idiot to bring out the armies of college kids who know every fucking thing, Mr. Ultimate Warrior is your man.
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Current Music:Dokken dammit!
Subject:Who needs a PodCast when I have your bitch ass to sit next to?
Time:10:30 am
Current Mood:pissed offpissed off

Can you please search your Ipod for some Pat Benetar because I'm tired of hearing the Cure bleeding though those crappy white Ipod ear buds which let us know that you too, own a fucking Ipod.

I mean if you're going to listen to music on the train then understand that we have to listen to it too.

I, am the kinda guy that will walk into a bar and, well, if no one is really watching what's on, may as to change the channel to a baseball game. I will not sit idly by and watch AMC just because it happens to be on. Some will, I won't.

This means that if I have to listen to "Just Like Heaven" or as you yuppie pricks are known to call it, the "Show me show me show me" song or that "Cool Song by Goldfinger", over and over, I will maybe have the stones to ask for some "Love is a Battlefield" or maybe even "Whisper to a Scream".

What? You don't have those?

Then throw that thing in the river. Unless you have some Skinny Puppy, preferrably "Assimilate" or "Paris is Burning" by Dokken.

What? Don't gimme that look. You know you like some Dokken. Well you would if Fall Out Boy was playing it or maybe Jet. You know damn well that if Jet did "Tooth and Nail" you'd be all over that shit and spending 300 bucks for a ticket.

No one wants to admit to liking Dokken but I still hear Jessica Simpson coming out of those ear buds.

At least Dokken played instruments...and burned Paris. That's gotta be worth something.

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Subject:So long Kirby...
Time:09:33 am
You know it's a cruel world when Darryl Strawberry and Jose Canseco out live Kirby Puckett.

Kirby was one of the best ever. He was only 5'8'' but man could he hit and more than that, the guy was an awesome fielder.

Kirby Puckett had no hole in his swing and you have to be good to hit over .312 as a career batting average.

I love watching guys who clearly love every catch and every at bat. Even if they played for the other team.

I love guys who play their entire caree for one team but I don't hate guys who change teams. Sometimes you have to go but the Twins made Kirby want to stay and I'm glad he did.

I had a ball watching Kirby Puckett play baseball and I'd love to see someone come up and play like him. Now I'll have to consult the baseball almanac to see if anyone has.

Oh and fuck Barry Bonds. He can break the record if that's what's ging to happen but he's still a tool. Steroids (which I really don't care about) or not.

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